Tattoo me, baby....

I am getting a new tattoo today. After I lost the baby, I felt like I needed something on me that I could remember him by..I just happened to call up the best tattoo guy I know (and also the guy who has done most of my work) and he just happened to have a cancellation for today. I was quite happy as his next opening was almost 2 months away.

So, today is the day, and I am shitting my pants for some reason. Normally, I am not such a wuss when it comes to tattoos as I have several very large ones already. But here I am, awake since the crack of dawn.

I am getting inked on a notoriously painful spot and I am extremely nervous. I am even thinking of using Emla cream. I know, I know....I am breaking the tattoo code, which consists of 1. "No crying in the tattoo parlour" and 2. "Suck it up wussy and endure the pain".

Tattoo parlours and tattoo artists are funny. They have a culture all their own. I remember when I got my first tattoo several years ago. They looked at me like I had 2 heads because I don't really look like the tattoo type...at all. A "newbie", if you will. They even made me pay a substantial downpayment to "hold" my spot. I figure it's because they were SURE I would chicken out as I wanted quite a large piece done for my first time.

Go big or go home, I say :P

Anyway, now, I have a lot of tattoos, even more than Daddy. I have street cred now when I get tattooed. No longer am I an "outsider", now I'm just one of them.

So, today, I am going and getting another one to add to my growing collection. It seems I always get a tattoo when I am in some sort of intense emotional pain. Some say that people use tattoos as a way to raise their endorphin level when they are depressed. Who knows? I just know that I have suffered a huge loss and I want a way to remember the baby. I know from talking to several other women who have lost their babies, that it is something you never forget, no matter how many years have passed.

So, wish me luck, and I hope to hell I can handle the pain.

I am off to the tattoo parlour....